A Good Friend
It had been a hard week. I'd spent part of it quarreling with a family member. It started as a difference of opinion and had blossomed into a full fledged quarrel. I felt like my point of view was being discounted and tried to explain how I might see things differently. My explanation was met with an angry tirade and I answered with some equally angry words. After I calmed down I apologized,but it was too late. Apology not accepted. Ever. At this point the best thing to do was to leave the situation alone. There was nothing I could say that would mend this. Time would either heal it or not.
A few weeks after this I was on Facebook when a message from Kim popped up. She was online and wanted to chat. I inwardly groaned. Chatting with Kim would take at least a half an hour,I didn't want to be on the computer that long. I told her to hang on a minute, finished what I was typing and then started to chat.
Kim and I go back quite a ways. I met her the summer after I graduated from pharmacy school. I was working as a graduate intern in a pharmacy in northern Minnesota. I had moved into a dorm style rooming house where Kim also lived. We knew each other casually from meeting in the bathroom and in the common kitchen area.
One day I came home from work to find Kim standing in the hallway. The kitchen and bathroom were flooded and the water was threatening to go into the rooms. She had gone looking for the caretakers, but they were gone. Could I help her find where the water was coming from? I put on my boots and went into the utility room. A faucet had been left on. I turned off the faucet. There was no point in trying to cook anything in the flooded kitchen. We left a note for the caretaker and headed out to get something to eat.
Not long after that we both moved out. I found a small apartment and she got married and moved into a trailer. We've stayed in touch ever since. It's an odd friendship. We get along well despite the difference in education,income,interests and upbringing.
I would go back up there to visit her. She and her husband lived in a small cramped house at the edge of town so I stayed in a hotel when I visited. We would swim in the pool and go out for a pizza and have a good time. We would talk and talk.
A few years later, her daughter Ann was born. She was a cute baby. At the age of six months, Ann developed a seizure disorder. This was a genetic trait in Kim's family and later it was found that Ann was also autistic. Kim had to give her daughter sometimes complicated regimens of medications to keep Ann from having seizures. Twice a year she had to take her to a specialist in the Twin City area.
For a period of time I distanced myself from her. I had invited her and Ann (her husband had to work) to my house in Faribault. I wanted her to come and visit me. I had plenty of room in my house, so she would not have to take a hotel room. She said she would come. I cleaned my house, stocked my fridge with all the kinds of food that we liked. I got some of the special food that Ann needed to eat and waited.
Then the phone rang. It was Kim. She would not be coming. She was told it was much too dangerous for her to drive all that way. I was hurt and upset. I had driven that way alone myself many times. It wasn't that hard to get from her house to mine. It was all interstate all the way. I felt she should come to me at least once. She didn't have to get a hotel room like I had to do when I visited her. I felt like she was taking advantage of me.
More years went by. I moved, got married and didn't visit for many years. Kim's husband was caught stealing from the company he worked for and she divorced him. She was struggling financially and raising a developmentally disabled daughter more or less alone. We stilled stayed in touch through cards,letters and the occasional phone call.
Which brings me back to the Facebook chat. I found myself telling her all about the quarrel and how upset and hurt I still felt. Maybe some of the things said to me were true. Maybe I was narrow minded, old fashioned,out of touch and holding a grudge, like I'd been told. Kim assured me that I wasn't. I wasn't crazy. My point of view was simply different due to age and my experience. I felt better.
We went on to talk about the news in her life. She has a boyfriend for the first time since her divorce. She's planning to go to school to become a practical nurse. Ann will be graduating from high school in the spring of next year. It sounded like things were starting to look up for her. I told her that I was pleased and happy for her.
I thanked her for what she said to me. She told me that she had always considered me to be her younger sister. I thought about that for a minute. It was true. She was the older sister I never had. We both had to get going so we said our goodbyes.
A few days later I got a card in the mail. It was past Halloween and too early for Thanksgiving. I opened it up. The front said, "For someone special with caring thoughts and wishes". I teared up. I'm so lucky to have such a good friend.
A few weeks after this I was on Facebook when a message from Kim popped up. She was online and wanted to chat. I inwardly groaned. Chatting with Kim would take at least a half an hour,I didn't want to be on the computer that long. I told her to hang on a minute, finished what I was typing and then started to chat.
Kim and I go back quite a ways. I met her the summer after I graduated from pharmacy school. I was working as a graduate intern in a pharmacy in northern Minnesota. I had moved into a dorm style rooming house where Kim also lived. We knew each other casually from meeting in the bathroom and in the common kitchen area.
One day I came home from work to find Kim standing in the hallway. The kitchen and bathroom were flooded and the water was threatening to go into the rooms. She had gone looking for the caretakers, but they were gone. Could I help her find where the water was coming from? I put on my boots and went into the utility room. A faucet had been left on. I turned off the faucet. There was no point in trying to cook anything in the flooded kitchen. We left a note for the caretaker and headed out to get something to eat.
Not long after that we both moved out. I found a small apartment and she got married and moved into a trailer. We've stayed in touch ever since. It's an odd friendship. We get along well despite the difference in education,income,interests and upbringing.
I would go back up there to visit her. She and her husband lived in a small cramped house at the edge of town so I stayed in a hotel when I visited. We would swim in the pool and go out for a pizza and have a good time. We would talk and talk.
A few years later, her daughter Ann was born. She was a cute baby. At the age of six months, Ann developed a seizure disorder. This was a genetic trait in Kim's family and later it was found that Ann was also autistic. Kim had to give her daughter sometimes complicated regimens of medications to keep Ann from having seizures. Twice a year she had to take her to a specialist in the Twin City area.
For a period of time I distanced myself from her. I had invited her and Ann (her husband had to work) to my house in Faribault. I wanted her to come and visit me. I had plenty of room in my house, so she would not have to take a hotel room. She said she would come. I cleaned my house, stocked my fridge with all the kinds of food that we liked. I got some of the special food that Ann needed to eat and waited.
Then the phone rang. It was Kim. She would not be coming. She was told it was much too dangerous for her to drive all that way. I was hurt and upset. I had driven that way alone myself many times. It wasn't that hard to get from her house to mine. It was all interstate all the way. I felt she should come to me at least once. She didn't have to get a hotel room like I had to do when I visited her. I felt like she was taking advantage of me.
More years went by. I moved, got married and didn't visit for many years. Kim's husband was caught stealing from the company he worked for and she divorced him. She was struggling financially and raising a developmentally disabled daughter more or less alone. We stilled stayed in touch through cards,letters and the occasional phone call.
Which brings me back to the Facebook chat. I found myself telling her all about the quarrel and how upset and hurt I still felt. Maybe some of the things said to me were true. Maybe I was narrow minded, old fashioned,out of touch and holding a grudge, like I'd been told. Kim assured me that I wasn't. I wasn't crazy. My point of view was simply different due to age and my experience. I felt better.
We went on to talk about the news in her life. She has a boyfriend for the first time since her divorce. She's planning to go to school to become a practical nurse. Ann will be graduating from high school in the spring of next year. It sounded like things were starting to look up for her. I told her that I was pleased and happy for her.
I thanked her for what she said to me. She told me that she had always considered me to be her younger sister. I thought about that for a minute. It was true. She was the older sister I never had. We both had to get going so we said our goodbyes.
A few days later I got a card in the mail. It was past Halloween and too early for Thanksgiving. I opened it up. The front said, "For someone special with caring thoughts and wishes". I teared up. I'm so lucky to have such a good friend.
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