Unpaid Labor
Hi! This is Scamp. A few weeks ago a human asked me if Colby and I paid for writing this column. I said were were not.
Then I started thinking about it. It's really not fair. Sophie works and she gets paid. C works and he gets paid. Carrie works and also gets paid. Colby and I do a lot of work around the house. We greet our humans at the door when they return home. We alert them to intruders that are on the property. We wake up our humans when it is time for breakfast. We greet visitors, act as therapists, decorate the house and also help write the column. Why aren't we getting paid for this?
Maybe we need to go on strike. I have heard that humans do that sometimes to get a better contract or better working conditions. The problem is that the whole lack of opposable thumb thing makes it difficult to hold a sign. Also we would need to start cooperating with other animals such as dogs, cats, birds and ferrets to make our strike effective. I wouldn't trust Colby not to chase any mice, rats or hamsters that could decide to join out picket line.
I realised that if I got paid, I would have to pay taxes. I know that Sophie has someone else do her taxes for her because it is too complicated for her to do them herself. Maybe I wouldn't have to pay taxes, since I don't get to vote. If they make me pay taxes then they have to let me vote, right? No taxation without representation. I'd have to get a checking account, a savings account and maybe a Roth IRA so I can save some money for retirement.
If I got paid, Sophie might want to start charging rent. Right now, I get free room and board. Wait! Room and board can be considered compensation. So I am sort of getting paid.
I also get on demand grooming, attention, and special equipment to help keep me in shape. (They are NOT toys.) I have a really good health insurance plan. All medical and dental care is free. That's better than most humans have. I hear that is a very valuable part of any benefit package. I also get treats and milk too.
So I am getting paid, just not in cash. I think I can live with that. It saves me from a lot of hassles. I'm just too busy to run to the bank and do all those other things that humans have to do with money. Very smart of Sophie to arrange things this way.
Well, it's nap time. Colby and I have a tussling session this afternoon and then I have to keep watch over the backyard. There are some ground squirrels causing trouble and I want to see what they are up to. Maybe if it isn't raining I can go outside and discourage them.
Then I started thinking about it. It's really not fair. Sophie works and she gets paid. C works and he gets paid. Carrie works and also gets paid. Colby and I do a lot of work around the house. We greet our humans at the door when they return home. We alert them to intruders that are on the property. We wake up our humans when it is time for breakfast. We greet visitors, act as therapists, decorate the house and also help write the column. Why aren't we getting paid for this?
Maybe we need to go on strike. I have heard that humans do that sometimes to get a better contract or better working conditions. The problem is that the whole lack of opposable thumb thing makes it difficult to hold a sign. Also we would need to start cooperating with other animals such as dogs, cats, birds and ferrets to make our strike effective. I wouldn't trust Colby not to chase any mice, rats or hamsters that could decide to join out picket line.
I realised that if I got paid, I would have to pay taxes. I know that Sophie has someone else do her taxes for her because it is too complicated for her to do them herself. Maybe I wouldn't have to pay taxes, since I don't get to vote. If they make me pay taxes then they have to let me vote, right? No taxation without representation. I'd have to get a checking account, a savings account and maybe a Roth IRA so I can save some money for retirement.
If I got paid, Sophie might want to start charging rent. Right now, I get free room and board. Wait! Room and board can be considered compensation. So I am sort of getting paid.
I also get on demand grooming, attention, and special equipment to help keep me in shape. (They are NOT toys.) I have a really good health insurance plan. All medical and dental care is free. That's better than most humans have. I hear that is a very valuable part of any benefit package. I also get treats and milk too.
So I am getting paid, just not in cash. I think I can live with that. It saves me from a lot of hassles. I'm just too busy to run to the bank and do all those other things that humans have to do with money. Very smart of Sophie to arrange things this way.
Well, it's nap time. Colby and I have a tussling session this afternoon and then I have to keep watch over the backyard. There are some ground squirrels causing trouble and I want to see what they are up to. Maybe if it isn't raining I can go outside and discourage them.
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