Sophie's Story

   Marrying a man with children can be a lonely and risky proposition. One thing a woman must realize is that  her husband and his children were a family unit good or bad before she came into the picture. Unless the children are too young to remember their parents as a couple there will always be something there. You will always be on the outside of that and sometimes it's a lonely place.   The ideal would be for a couple where one or both spouses have children to blend together into a new family. It takes time and patience. Sometimes it doesn't happen. It's a risk that you take.    Ten years ago I chose to marry C. In the process I became a stepmother to five children. They were in their early adult to late teens at the time.   I wasn't quite sure how this was going to work. Fortunately C and I had had several discussions about the topic and had done a little preplanning. We discussed different scenarios that might come up and how we would ha...

   A customer of mine called me to order a few things that she needed. I asked her to wait just a minute. I was in the middle of something knew that I would forget to complete my task if interrupted. I told her that I would be done in just a minute.   She said, "You know, that's what I like about you." I didn't reply as I was working on the last bit of thing I needed to do. She continued, "You know what else I like about you? You have always had enough."   Fortunately I was done with my task because what she said stopped me cold. That conversation had taken place a long time ago. I barely remembered it now. "Every time I think about it, it makes me tear up," she finished.   My task finished I turned my attention to her and what she needed. After we had finished our conversation, I hung up the phone. I was still a little stunned by what she said. I couldn't believe that she even remembered it.   Like many of the people that come to my phar...

     C and I went to the Chicago Botanic Garden yesterday. We're taking a few days off and spending it in Chicago and Milwaukee.   I had wanted to show C the CBG for a long time. I first went there about 13-14 years ago when I came to visit some friends in Racine. I remembered that I liked it lot. It was huge. We spent the whole day walking around it. There were gardens of red roses, yellow roses and pink roses. There were more plants than I could name. There was a sensory garden. The sensory garden had plants in it that are supposed to be touched and smelled. It was the first time that I smelled a plant that smelled like chocolate. I learned to gently rub the leaves between my fingers to release the scent.    There was a Japanese Garden comprised of three islands. The first two you could walk around. They each had something called a "dry garden" some thing I'd never seen before. It was a garden meant to be seen only. The ground was covered in small whi...

  One reason why C and I get along so well is that we compliment each other. We're a little like the yin and yang symbol. We tend to balance each other out.   For the last 11 years C has been on an unofficial mission. The goal is to get me to lighten up, to be silly once in awhile, to not be so serious all the time. I don't even think he realizes that he's on a mission and most like would deny it if asked. Nevertheless, he has made suble efforts towards that goal.   Some background is in order here. When I first started working as a pharmacist it was still a very male dominated profession. There was one female pharmacist that worked at a store where I was an intern. There were a couple of female teachers that had once worked as pharmacists. I didn't know any that were my age except my classmates. I found a job in a town where no one woman had ever worked as a pharmacist before.   This put me at a little disadvantage. Most people were taken aback to see a ...

   The spring contest at my Toastmaster's club ran short. There were only two contestants and the toastmaster running the contest was very efficient. Someone suggested that a round of Table Topics might be in order. Table Topics, for those of you unfamiliar with the term, is when a toastmaster is given a question or statement and is required to answer it. You must speak for at least 30 seconds, but no longer than two and a half minutes. The point of this exercise is to learn to think on your feet and to put together an intelligent response with little or no prep time.   Helen was the one who was going to ask the questions. She came prepared with a set of cards with different topics and questions. Sometimes she asked the question and then asked if anyone would volunteer to answer. Sometimes she would ask a question and then pick out a certain person. One of the questions was, "What piece of music touches you?" She looked over at me and asked if I would address this ques...

  A few days ago I saw several articles on Yahoo about female members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints protesting outside the conference center where the Priesthood Session of the semiannual General Conference was being held. They were demanding to be allowed to attend the session even though it is closed to women.   I didn't read any of the articles. I started thinking about all the articles I have read over the years of women protesting and demanding membership or entrance into places that were for men only. I've heard stories of hardships suffered by women who went into professions typically entered into only by men. I've endured a bit of that myself. I've heard stories about glass ceilings and old boys clubs.   One thing I've never heard of is men wanting entrance into a women's organization. I've heard of girls wanting to join the Boy Scouts, but never boys wanting to join the Girl Scouts. I have heard of women protesting to be all...

   I was surfing the internet when I ran into an article about microaggression. The writer mentioned a photo campaign called "I, Too, Am Harvard" It features pictures of minority students at Harvard College with questions or comments that are sometimes aimed at them.   I had never heard the term microaggression before. I've looked at several definitions from several places. It's small verbal slights that can be either intentional or unintentional. It's easier to give an example than to define. In the book, In a Heartbeat , there's a good example. "I'm gonna be real honest with you: people ask some stupid questions. You can tell the short school bus picked them up." Doesn't seem real offensive, does it? To me, it is. A word of explanation for those who may not understand. In the days before mainstreaming became more common, special education (aka special needs students) were picked up for class in a separate school bus. Since there were usu...